Milne hai mujhse aayi !!!

It is a sincere apology to myself for not being able to make the most out of all the seconds, minutes, hours and days that have been gifted to me by divine powers. Celebration has taken a back stage. I have certainly given myself slow poison that has been consuming all the energy. It hangs in around like a snake, a snake that is venomonous like the viper as well as one that strangles like the python. I wonder whats going on inside. There is no drive , no push, no enlightment and no impulsiveness. Have I started taking life seriously? Have I killed the nomad? Am I ignoring the sage?

Honestly, I have been dying to visit a place, travel and explore. Having lost lot of hopes of exploring places with a particular hand in mine, it is seemingly back to square one. It is true, even the closest ones show their real face when they find yours unappealing. That’s a drag, trusting someone blindly with nothing but pure belief. I should have been a devil, a relentless beast with nothing but hate and curses breathing inside with all might.

The biggest and the most irritating skill I have lost is the ability to play with words. I could type endlessly which seems like a task now. My conversations revolve around people, involve people and end up with people. I feel like a punchbag, because all my time is spent hearing problems. Lately, everyone’s being crying sighting my shoulders. People with lots of money drop as much tears as the poor people do. Either directly or indirectly, I hear, see, feel nothing but problems, fears and tears.

Everyday, when I walk past any temple or while walking under the open sky, I ask God same set of questions. Am I only to fill gaps? Which gaps? Emotional gaps? Physical gaps? Gaps left by dying ones? Gaps left by living and leaving ones? Every day, my belief in friendship searches reasons. All I get to hear is problems. People meet me to convey problems, call me to convey problems, watsapp me for the same and sms me about problems. And the most disgusting part, most of these shoulder seekers are women. I am glad i will not be the one with Married status ever.

Right now I am listening to probably the best song I have heard lately "Milne hai mujhse aayi" from Aashiqui 2. Gaurav and I met after a very long time and straightaway headed towards our secret hideout this Saturday afternoon. Somewhere I think we both are alike, we can just go on and on and on (Duracell) and the very next moment we feel we need Red Bull (we become zombies). And of course, my darling Splendor, still without brakes, ran smoothly through that "neher" wali road. Here are a few glimpses. I cant write since that song has engrossed me completely by now.