Harold Camping - A Doomsday Himself ;-p

  First thing first. Suresh Kalmadi's face is more funnier than a baboon's butt. And I cant manage my laughs whenever I see him. I dont understand why my giggles just dont stop. All I want to do is to describe him like John Dryden described Shadwell in McFlecknoe but let me just put those exciting feelings of describing his heroics for later on. Right now, this 24 year old owner of this blog is occupied in the thoughts of , no no no, not Sex, but an 89 year old never-to-come-Judgement-Day predictor.(Is there a word called predictor??? Anyone???) But dont loose hope Mr. Kalmadi, I will keep referring to you often in this post, and for the Praise of your Heroic Deeds. Do wait. Coming Soon.   

  I came back home after the usual bulls***** on the exam sheet for which I had to go to this drastic place called Bijwasan, a totally unheard village cornered in Delhi. Heat had already evaporated my thinking capabilities and the exam centre had given me nothing but words to curse IP university. The moment I entered inside my home, surprisingly, I was greeted with no question answer session about my exam but was immediately told about the upcoming event by my Masi - "Duniya Khatam Ho Rahi Hai!!!"  Goddamn..

  I have been hearing this doomsday thing long time ago since the day I got my first semester mark sheet. I wonder these things coincide as if my unexpected marks are the reason doomsday is approaching quick. Gods would have sureshot been wondering why I am getting marks despite being a nuisance in classes. So this event might have given them a clue that since things have started to take unexpected turns, its time the earth is nearly over with its life. Destruction of senses by Mr. Non-Sense. Pooh pooh. What am I writing in here??

  Okay lets bring the train on track. So I came back home and heard my maasi screaming all of this again. But she added one more sentence to it. An 89 year old oldie namely Harold Camping (will be referred to as How-old Camping in this post) has said its going to end this May 21. All I could say was. WHAT???  Boy I became curious. Who dared say such a crap?? How could someone sound more pathetic than Anu Malik's voice? How could someone act comedy other than Himesh Reshammiya in his sad movies? Or to make it worse, how can a Nokia 3310 boast of a colored screen??

    So, I took a little pain to search about this close-to-turtle's-age man who has made millions because of his "will-never-prove-true" predictions. He actually repeated what he had already said in 1990s, and yet again not a single leaf fell from his own garden's tree. I wonder what happened to people all over the world who donated all that money believing him. While Indian Politicians namely Suresh Kalmadi, A Raja, Sharad Pawar etc are suffering from poverty and humger, people are donating to an 89 year old  dumb preacher. What has happened to the world? I think, they are scared how will they connect to each other if they die as their Facebook accounts wont be useful anymore..Moreover as ghosts, they wont be able to touch anything.No PC, no I Pad, No lappy, No cellphone. Pooh Pooh.

    So Mr. How-old Camping is a voracious eater of pages cum reader of the Holy Bible and has probably assumed it to be a calculator or something which only he knows. After some bush beating, crunching, munching, twisting and turning (in short Interpreting), he has come to a few stupid deductions which say the world's close to its ending. Then, when he had to go through the embarrassment when nothing happened on 21st May, he shows up a brave face to say that the world's ending on 21st Oct and 21st May was the beginning of the end. Dude, I dont know what you enjoyed in your life, but I wont let this world end until I loose my virginity. Try Me.

    Well, I am loosing some touch here.I began my write up with some quite excitement which seems to have gone down with every paragraph. I really wanted to drag every vein out of this 89 year old tortoise but I think its tough to find words for a person who cannot be christian-ed BRAIN DEAD. He speaks more non sense than me, gets paid for it, and speaks more non sense again, and gets paid for it again. And I, a poor guy earns no money to even sustain a 3G connection on my phone. Anyway, one question to Mr. How-old Camping, can you predict whether you will reach 3 digit age mark or not?? Well I can do that, and the answer is NO NO NO. Who knows you turn out to be living for 100 more years, thereby bringing further doomsday on this earth. I dont want turtles to feel ashamed that their longest living mammal's record has been broken..Neither I want my grandchildren to enter a world with a Kalmadi-type-nuisance-grump.

    At least, just a message to How-old Camping. SHUT UP. Just SHUT UP. Go find a hole and stay inside. These religious books, whether Bible, Quran, Gita or such scriptures, were meant for humanity's kind. People like you, have interpreted everything that suits your purpose, which is the resultant of terrorism today. Interpreters like you are the root cause of confusion, misguidance, hate, fear, misdeeds, unwanted sacrifices and communal-ism around the world. You preachers were supposed to bring peace and truce, you did everything opposite. Its a shame that people who should be on peace missions with other countries, are giving doomsday notices. Well, Doomsday of this planet arrived a log time ago dear Mr. How-old Camping, that was the day when guys like you took birth. Go to Hell. R.I.P.

 
     Disclaimer- I dont care. When Laws arent any good to keep you quiet, how would they keep me quiet.