My Love's Letter
I am not sure how to start this. Right now, I am listening to Dance With the Devil by Breaking Benjamin. That song always gives me a sense of pride. I feel I am telling someone to fear me, not to make an eye contact with me, almost like a warning.
Anyway, I had one of the worst experiences of life today. I lost my wallet. Yes, I did. Its one of the worst experiences of life since the manner in which I lost it sounded pathetic. I came home from Delhi, changed clothes and began searching where I kept it. I somehow forgot about it, ignoring my fears, thought I had kept it upstairs while dressing and left home again for later search-for the wallet. I somewhat forgot about it when i came back since I was engrossed on phone with the special one and then with a friend. Lets come to the point. Finally, back home i realized i was searching for my wallet. I messed up every little corner of the almirah, threw away my Guitar, turned every box upside down, pushed my quilt, searched all pockets and inspected every room. I was in a state of shock. I had lost my wallet.
Instantly, I turned insane. I remember joker's line - Madness is just like Gravity, all you need is a little push. I tried to remember what was the last place where I saw it. Metro Station - Badarpur Border. I took out money to give to the parking vendor. Instantly, told mother I would go and inquire the parking lot. She thought I parked it at the Old stop Parking. She wanted to come along , i refused. It was 10 kms i had to travel, and make it quick, without letting her know.
Though my eyes arent allowed night driving yet, I couldnt think of anything except my wallet. The moment i kick started it, the same moment my heart started praying. My wallet. My wallet. I dint wanted to let it go no way. I drove, blank headed, as if my life was at stake. Nothing but that wallet. Wallet. I was shivering, i was riding, I was praying. Inside, all i could think of was that if i had lost it in the parking, somebody, one generous kind hearted somebody, would have kept it with himself. Would he call me? How? My number wasnt there. Would he call my bank? Tel them my debit card number? They would contact me? may be.
Then all negative thoughts. Is it with a rickshaw wala? Auto driver? Cleaner? They would take out that 200 odd money and throw my wallet away. They wont care for its my wallet. I got stuck in a little jam. It opened, I rushed again. Same thoughts. And my wallet's image, i wanted it, wanted it badly. I reached my spot 10 kms away from my won, blinded by thoughts, no sense of law or life, only that wallet. I stopped my bike, took off my helmet and then - "Bhaiya, yaha koi purse mila kya aapko? Kisi ne dia? Usme paise nahi the, bas kuch papers the. Pooch lo kisi se, please! Al he said was - " Nahi! Kuch nahi hai" I was broken, almost.
I asked him If i can just go and see the parking lot. I rushed to the spot where my bike was parked earlier. There were hardly any bikes, i checked up down right left. Nothing. A few biscuit packets, polythenes and litter. Not that brown shiny-buttoned wallet. I looked up. I cried. Tears were in my eyes. They dint fall down. They just rested. I lost my wallet. It was painful, very very painful.
I walked, dragged myself till the end of the parking lot. My head was drooping, I had lost something, something i never wanted to loose. I came and told the attendant that in case somebody drops by with my wallet, keep it. I will come tomorrow again. He said OK. I was sad. I began my journey back home, defeated and saddened.
I still kept looking everywhere on the road. Its a very busy mathur road this time at 9 00 pm. It dint deter me. It dint move me. It was my wallet. Every shape that was rectangle took my attention. Glow signs on the road, litter and even marks, my eyes were onto almost everything. This was probably the slowest 10 kms i ever traveled on my bike. A man had lost his most precious possession, his life's biggest happiness, his favorite moment. The only hope I had was a miracle, somebody would call up. But inside, i knew it was over. I had lost. All i had in my mind was how i opened its button, the way i took out money, swapped ATM, mtero stations, her expressions of that wallet coming from palika, its brown color, some photos which were inside, their possible misuse, what would anybody do with my mom's and to-be's pic.Sigh. I was home. Alone. Sad.
I opened the gate, tilted my bike properly to get it inside. Wait. There was my wallet. Lying below that bush in my garden where i park my bike. What? Is it? I was spellbound. I had a thunder bolt. "Mumma- ye rha" Phewwwwwwwwwwwww. I rushed in my room, kissed it and opened it.
I am not sure how to start this. Right now, I am listening to Dance With the Devil by Breaking Benjamin. That song always gives me a sense of pride. I feel I am telling someone to fear me, not to make an eye contact with me, almost like a warning.
Anyway, I had one of the worst experiences of life today. I lost my wallet. Yes, I did. Its one of the worst experiences of life since the manner in which I lost it sounded pathetic. I came home from Delhi, changed clothes and began searching where I kept it. I somehow forgot about it, ignoring my fears, thought I had kept it upstairs while dressing and left home again for later search-for the wallet. I somewhat forgot about it when i came back since I was engrossed on phone with the special one and then with a friend. Lets come to the point. Finally, back home i realized i was searching for my wallet. I messed up every little corner of the almirah, threw away my Guitar, turned every box upside down, pushed my quilt, searched all pockets and inspected every room. I was in a state of shock. I had lost my wallet.
Instantly, I turned insane. I remember joker's line - Madness is just like Gravity, all you need is a little push. I tried to remember what was the last place where I saw it. Metro Station - Badarpur Border. I took out money to give to the parking vendor. Instantly, told mother I would go and inquire the parking lot. She thought I parked it at the Old stop Parking. She wanted to come along , i refused. It was 10 kms i had to travel, and make it quick, without letting her know.
Though my eyes arent allowed night driving yet, I couldnt think of anything except my wallet. The moment i kick started it, the same moment my heart started praying. My wallet. My wallet. I dint wanted to let it go no way. I drove, blank headed, as if my life was at stake. Nothing but that wallet. Wallet. I was shivering, i was riding, I was praying. Inside, all i could think of was that if i had lost it in the parking, somebody, one generous kind hearted somebody, would have kept it with himself. Would he call me? How? My number wasnt there. Would he call my bank? Tel them my debit card number? They would contact me? may be.
Then all negative thoughts. Is it with a rickshaw wala? Auto driver? Cleaner? They would take out that 200 odd money and throw my wallet away. They wont care for its my wallet. I got stuck in a little jam. It opened, I rushed again. Same thoughts. And my wallet's image, i wanted it, wanted it badly. I reached my spot 10 kms away from my won, blinded by thoughts, no sense of law or life, only that wallet. I stopped my bike, took off my helmet and then - "Bhaiya, yaha koi purse mila kya aapko? Kisi ne dia? Usme paise nahi the, bas kuch papers the. Pooch lo kisi se, please! Al he said was - " Nahi! Kuch nahi hai" I was broken, almost.
I asked him If i can just go and see the parking lot. I rushed to the spot where my bike was parked earlier. There were hardly any bikes, i checked up down right left. Nothing. A few biscuit packets, polythenes and litter. Not that brown shiny-buttoned wallet. I looked up. I cried. Tears were in my eyes. They dint fall down. They just rested. I lost my wallet. It was painful, very very painful.
I walked, dragged myself till the end of the parking lot. My head was drooping, I had lost something, something i never wanted to loose. I came and told the attendant that in case somebody drops by with my wallet, keep it. I will come tomorrow again. He said OK. I was sad. I began my journey back home, defeated and saddened.
I still kept looking everywhere on the road. Its a very busy mathur road this time at 9 00 pm. It dint deter me. It dint move me. It was my wallet. Every shape that was rectangle took my attention. Glow signs on the road, litter and even marks, my eyes were onto almost everything. This was probably the slowest 10 kms i ever traveled on my bike. A man had lost his most precious possession, his life's biggest happiness, his favorite moment. The only hope I had was a miracle, somebody would call up. But inside, i knew it was over. I had lost. All i had in my mind was how i opened its button, the way i took out money, swapped ATM, mtero stations, her expressions of that wallet coming from palika, its brown color, some photos which were inside, their possible misuse, what would anybody do with my mom's and to-be's pic.Sigh. I was home. Alone. Sad.
I opened the gate, tilted my bike properly to get it inside. Wait. There was my wallet. Lying below that bush in my garden where i park my bike. What? Is it? I was spellbound. I had a thunder bolt. "Mumma- ye rha" Phewwwwwwwwwwwww. I rushed in my room, kissed it and opened it. I took that special authorization letter out. My Life started at this point, isnt this the most precious possession, my life's biggest happiness, my favorite moment?? Worth saving, worth dying for.
Anyway, I had one of the worst experiences of life today. I lost my wallet. Yes, I did. Its one of the worst experiences of life since the manner in which I lost it sounded pathetic. I came home from Delhi, changed clothes and began searching where I kept it. I somehow forgot about it, ignoring my fears, thought I had kept it upstairs while dressing and left home again for later search-for the wallet. I somewhat forgot about it when i came back since I was engrossed on phone with the special one and then with a friend. Lets come to the point. Finally, back home i realized i was searching for my wallet. I messed up every little corner of the almirah, threw away my Guitar, turned every box upside down, pushed my quilt, searched all pockets and inspected every room. I was in a state of shock. I had lost my wallet.
Instantly, I turned insane. I remember joker's line - Madness is just like Gravity, all you need is a little push. I tried to remember what was the last place where I saw it. Metro Station - Badarpur Border. I took out money to give to the parking vendor. Instantly, told mother I would go and inquire the parking lot. She thought I parked it at the Old stop Parking. She wanted to come along , i refused. It was 10 kms i had to travel, and make it quick, without letting her know.
Though my eyes arent allowed night driving yet, I couldnt think of anything except my wallet. The moment i kick started it, the same moment my heart started praying. My wallet. My wallet. I dint wanted to let it go no way. I drove, blank headed, as if my life was at stake. Nothing but that wallet. Wallet. I was shivering, i was riding, I was praying. Inside, all i could think of was that if i had lost it in the parking, somebody, one generous kind hearted somebody, would have kept it with himself. Would he call me? How? My number wasnt there. Would he call my bank? Tel them my debit card number? They would contact me? may be.
Then all negative thoughts. Is it with a rickshaw wala? Auto driver? Cleaner? They would take out that 200 odd money and throw my wallet away. They wont care for its my wallet. I got stuck in a little jam. It opened, I rushed again. Same thoughts. And my wallet's image, i wanted it, wanted it badly. I reached my spot 10 kms away from my won, blinded by thoughts, no sense of law or life, only that wallet. I stopped my bike, took off my helmet and then - "Bhaiya, yaha koi purse mila kya aapko? Kisi ne dia? Usme paise nahi the, bas kuch papers the. Pooch lo kisi se, please! Al he said was - " Nahi! Kuch nahi hai" I was broken, almost.
I asked him If i can just go and see the parking lot. I rushed to the spot where my bike was parked earlier. There were hardly any bikes, i checked up down right left. Nothing. A few biscuit packets, polythenes and litter. Not that brown shiny-buttoned wallet. I looked up. I cried. Tears were in my eyes. They dint fall down. They just rested. I lost my wallet. It was painful, very very painful.
I walked, dragged myself till the end of the parking lot. My head was drooping, I had lost something, something i never wanted to loose. I came and told the attendant that in case somebody drops by with my wallet, keep it. I will come tomorrow again. He said OK. I was sad. I began my journey back home, defeated and saddened.
I still kept looking everywhere on the road. Its a very busy mathur road this time at 9 00 pm. It dint deter me. It dint move me. It was my wallet. Every shape that was rectangle took my attention. Glow signs on the road, litter and even marks, my eyes were onto almost everything. This was probably the slowest 10 kms i ever traveled on my bike. A man had lost his most precious possession, his life's biggest happiness, his favorite moment. The only hope I had was a miracle, somebody would call up. But inside, i knew it was over. I had lost. All i had in my mind was how i opened its button, the way i took out money, swapped ATM, mtero stations, her expressions of that wallet coming from palika, its brown color, some photos which were inside, their possible misuse, what would anybody do with my mom's and to-be's pic.Sigh. I was home. Alone. Sad.
I opened the gate, tilted my bike properly to get it inside. Wait. There was my wallet. Lying below that bush in my garden where i park my bike. What? Is it? I was spellbound. I had a thunder bolt. "Mumma- ye rha" Phewwwwwwwwwwwww. I rushed in my room, kissed it and opened it.
I am not sure how to start this. Right now, I am listening to Dance With the Devil by Breaking Benjamin. That song always gives me a sense of pride. I feel I am telling someone to fear me, not to make an eye contact with me, almost like a warning.
Anyway, I had one of the worst experiences of life today. I lost my wallet. Yes, I did. Its one of the worst experiences of life since the manner in which I lost it sounded pathetic. I came home from Delhi, changed clothes and began searching where I kept it. I somehow forgot about it, ignoring my fears, thought I had kept it upstairs while dressing and left home again for later search-for the wallet. I somewhat forgot about it when i came back since I was engrossed on phone with the special one and then with a friend. Lets come to the point. Finally, back home i realized i was searching for my wallet. I messed up every little corner of the almirah, threw away my Guitar, turned every box upside down, pushed my quilt, searched all pockets and inspected every room. I was in a state of shock. I had lost my wallet.
Instantly, I turned insane. I remember joker's line - Madness is just like Gravity, all you need is a little push. I tried to remember what was the last place where I saw it. Metro Station - Badarpur Border. I took out money to give to the parking vendor. Instantly, told mother I would go and inquire the parking lot. She thought I parked it at the Old stop Parking. She wanted to come along , i refused. It was 10 kms i had to travel, and make it quick, without letting her know.
Though my eyes arent allowed night driving yet, I couldnt think of anything except my wallet. The moment i kick started it, the same moment my heart started praying. My wallet. My wallet. I dint wanted to let it go no way. I drove, blank headed, as if my life was at stake. Nothing but that wallet. Wallet. I was shivering, i was riding, I was praying. Inside, all i could think of was that if i had lost it in the parking, somebody, one generous kind hearted somebody, would have kept it with himself. Would he call me? How? My number wasnt there. Would he call my bank? Tel them my debit card number? They would contact me? may be.
Then all negative thoughts. Is it with a rickshaw wala? Auto driver? Cleaner? They would take out that 200 odd money and throw my wallet away. They wont care for its my wallet. I got stuck in a little jam. It opened, I rushed again. Same thoughts. And my wallet's image, i wanted it, wanted it badly. I reached my spot 10 kms away from my won, blinded by thoughts, no sense of law or life, only that wallet. I stopped my bike, took off my helmet and then - "Bhaiya, yaha koi purse mila kya aapko? Kisi ne dia? Usme paise nahi the, bas kuch papers the. Pooch lo kisi se, please! Al he said was - " Nahi! Kuch nahi hai" I was broken, almost.
I asked him If i can just go and see the parking lot. I rushed to the spot where my bike was parked earlier. There were hardly any bikes, i checked up down right left. Nothing. A few biscuit packets, polythenes and litter. Not that brown shiny-buttoned wallet. I looked up. I cried. Tears were in my eyes. They dint fall down. They just rested. I lost my wallet. It was painful, very very painful.
I walked, dragged myself till the end of the parking lot. My head was drooping, I had lost something, something i never wanted to loose. I came and told the attendant that in case somebody drops by with my wallet, keep it. I will come tomorrow again. He said OK. I was sad. I began my journey back home, defeated and saddened.
I still kept looking everywhere on the road. Its a very busy mathur road this time at 9 00 pm. It dint deter me. It dint move me. It was my wallet. Every shape that was rectangle took my attention. Glow signs on the road, litter and even marks, my eyes were onto almost everything. This was probably the slowest 10 kms i ever traveled on my bike. A man had lost his most precious possession, his life's biggest happiness, his favorite moment. The only hope I had was a miracle, somebody would call up. But inside, i knew it was over. I had lost. All i had in my mind was how i opened its button, the way i took out money, swapped ATM, mtero stations, her expressions of that wallet coming from palika, its brown color, some photos which were inside, their possible misuse, what would anybody do with my mom's and to-be's pic.Sigh. I was home. Alone. Sad.
I opened the gate, tilted my bike properly to get it inside. Wait. There was my wallet. Lying below that bush in my garden where i park my bike. What? Is it? I was spellbound. I had a thunder bolt. "Mumma- ye rha" Phewwwwwwwwwwwww. I rushed in my room, kissed it and opened it. I took that special authorization letter out. My Life started at this point, isnt this the most precious possession, my life's biggest happiness, my favorite moment?? Worth saving, worth dying for.
Je taime.
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